


One Likes To Believe in the Freedom of Music

by Katsudamn



Series: Roses & Rosin [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Awkward First Times, Blow Jobs, Confessions, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Had to post this twice, Hate to Love, M/M, Pianist Kaneki, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, The title is definitely a rush reference, Violinist Ayato, smh, what am i even doing anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsudamn/pseuds/Katsudamn
Summary: At age eighteen, Ayato is already a master violinist and is a rising star in the classical music community. He adds a new and exciting edge to the instrument, with his uncouth tongue and mildly wild appearance.Kaneki is a twenty two year old pianist, who is one of the best in his trade. He is part of the new wave of classical musicians.Although these two have never met in person, they have read and seen interviews from each other, and they already hate each other. They've openly called each other out and inspire even more dedication in themselves to show the other up.So what will happen when they're hired to play a duet together?





	One Likes To Believe in the Freedom of Music

**Author's Note:**

> I do play violin and piano I do know what I'm talking about.  
> https://youtu.be/-knkf-sjg4A  
> This is the song I am referring to within the work.  
> (Gotta love that sexy Strauss sonata)

It wasn't even eleven in the morning and Ayato was already annoyed. Right now, it was nine. A reasonable hour to get up, sure, but Ayato liked to sleep an hour longer until ten. So when he got the phone call that so rudely interrupted his sleep, you could imagine his displeasure. Furthermore, Ayato wanted absolutely nothing to do with what he was being hired to do.

He scowled at the mirror after his shower and brushed his teeth, as though he could scrub away his disappointment and annoyance by brushing vigorously. After that, he pulled on dark jeans and all black hi-top converse Chuck Taylors before turning back to the mirror to do some light eyeliner (that he'd never admit he wore) and pull his long hair, aside from his fringe, into a long and flowing, but layered, ponytail. the young man tied a blood red ribbon around the base of it to contrast with his dark, blue-purple hair and checked to make sure it was all in order. It was only when he was satisfied with his hair that he would pull on his very tailored, very expensive, black button down shirt. He admired the way it fit his almost feminine shape for a few seconds and rolled the sleeves up before inspecting his already slightly chipped black nail polish.

Pulling on a leather jacket and fingerless gloves with his messenger bag over his shoulder, he made his way out to the garage. Ayato put his helmet on, opened the door, and revved the engine to life on his black motorcycle after securing his violin case tightly to it. He let himself idle into the driveway before closing the door and turning on some song or other through the bluetooth connection between his helmet and his phone and tore down the road at a relatively fast speed. This was definitely not going to be a very fun day for him.

 

***

Kaneki awoke in the morning at an early hour with a small stretch as he rolled over and looked at his bedside clock; six thirty in the morning. He yawned quietly and snuggled back into the covers of his bed, not even bothering to get up. He was wide awake, but he was too comfortable to move: any amount of physical effort sounded like something Kaneki wanted absolutely no part in.

After a few minutes of simply lounging in his bed, he reached over and grabbed at his phone, humming softly as he checked emails and texts. There was nothing too interesting, aside from a text from his manager, reading, "need to talk to you. hired for show @ preforming arts high school. duet with a certain violinist." Kaneki frowned when he read the last line, already knowing who it would be.

 _"Ayato Kirishima,_ _"_ he thought with a grimace, glaring at the wall in front of him as he sat up. If there was one person he didn't want to work with, it was Ayato. They'd never worked together before, and honestly, Kaneki had hoped and prayed that it would stay that way. The interviews and publicity stunts were too much for the white haired man to bear. It was one thing to be rude, but to make a show of being uncouth was another, and it made Kaneki much more than annoyed.

A scowl formed on his face as he showered and mulled over what today might have in store.

 _"Maybe he isn't so bad,_ _"_ Kaneki tried to convince himself, only shaking his head more,  _"he might not be the person he shows to the press, for all I know."_

 _" **But he's a**_ _ **violinist** ," _his mind argued, because if there was one thing he didn't like, it was a violinist in general. The way they held themselves was too much for Kaneki to tolerate most of the time, and Ayato took it to a whole new level. The amount of nonsensical eccentricities violinists had was insane, and he wasn't sure he was ready to cater to another one; let alone the most eccentric of them all.

It was after he'd gotten dressed in jeans and a white button down shirt and brushed his teeth that he got a phone call connected to three other lines. Kaneki wasn't sure who the other two people on the line would be, aside from his manager, but he answered the call and tried to mask his annoyance.

Immediately, Kaneki was met with a hiss of, "What do you mean I have to work with  _him_ _? "_   Then a quiet huff before the familiar voice continued, "I  _hate_ him."

Kaneki could already feel the beginning of a headache. Of course the first voice he'd be greeted with that day would be the object of his complete and undivided intolerance. "Excuse me, but  _he_ is on the line," he said with an annoyed tone in response to the younger man, frowning as he sat on his bed.

At those comments, both men could hear their managers fighting to talk over each other and calm their clients down. Sharp whines of protest could be heard coming from Ayato's side of line and Kaneki rolled his eyes.

"What are we going to be playing," the white haired man interrupted with a sigh. "It better be good if I have to work with that intolerable prick."

" _Kaneki Ken,_ " his manager scolded at that, but Ayato interrupted with a fit of laughter.

"No, no, no, don't," Ayato tried to get out through his laughter, and his manager remained silent, but rolled their eyes. It was just like him to get enjoyment out of an insult.

The white haired man frowned and shook his head a little bit. "I asked what we were playing. I didn't intend for you to take that as something so funny," he said in a cold tone, but was only met by harder laughter coming from the young man's end of the line.

"Look," Ayato started, fighting down his laughter, "I really don't know what we're going to be playing, and frankly, if you're going to be saying things like that the whole time, I don't know that I'd be able to play." He shrugged and calmed down, annoyance finding him once again. "Either way, I'm not going to find that funny for much longer. You're the last person on this planet that I want to work with, and I'll be damned if I have to listen to you complain the whole time."

Kaneki sneered in offense, sending the wall a nasty glare as he spoke. "Now listen here, pretty boy-"

"Oh gosh, he just called me pretty boy-"

"Shut up and listen! If you think I can't act professionally, that's entirely wrong. But you, on the other hand, have a reputation of being absolutely unbearable to work with. So shape up or ship out. I definitely wouldn't be hurt if you left."

Both of the managers were now scolding their clients once again. Kaneki's manager, Yoshimura, seemed to find gentle redirection to be a good method of calming him down, but apparently, Ayato's manager, Tatara, couldn't stay calm long enough to calm anybody else, let alone Ayato.

The call ended up with them all arguing, aside from Yoshimura, who simply sat and listened with amusement for a few minutes before interrupting. "That's enough," he said into the line, and everybody stopped. "Thank you. You two work together and behave. You're preforming in front of a highschool, so don't try anything stupid come the day of the show. I don't want any calls saying that you two caused trouble with each other or anybody else. Understand?"

Ayato and Kaneki both sighed and looked down with a grumble of, "yes, Yoshimura."

The call was then ended, and the line rang dead. Kaneki hit the end call button and frowned as he stood up, running his fingers through ash white hair. He moved to the living room to pull his shoes on and then continued out the door and into his car, driving off with a reluctant sigh. Today was going to be a long day.

***

"What do you mean we're playing a  _violin_ sonata?! Aren't we both supposed to be equals in this?" Kaneki was more than displeased when he was told the piece that had been selected by the conductor, sat at the grand piano in the large practice room as Ayato snickered and unpacked his violin on the other side of the room.

"I guess people are tired of hearing dramatic chords played in different rhythms as the melody," Ayato commented.

"And I guess I'm tired of hearing arpeggios played in different patterns throughout a piece," he shot back with a small growl as he looked at the sheet music in front of him.

The conductor simply rose an eyebrow and turned to leave the room with an amused laugh. "I'll trust you two to get over yourselves without killing each other. But for now, I have an orchestra class coming in a few minutes and I have to get ready for them to be here. When I ask both of you two to come out as guests for the next few weeks as soloists for our next concert, I expect you to at least act like you don't want to murder each other." They left the room and clicked the door shut behind them, leaving the two in silence.

"Look... Have you even heard this piece, Kaneki?" Ayato hummed softly, looking up from his spot on the floor as he rosined his bow with swift, long, and fluid motions.

"No, why? I hope it's not something typical," the older man said with a frown and looked over his piece as Ayato approached from behind with sheet music, bow, and violin in hand.

The blunet shook his head slowly and flashed the other a truly wicked smile as he set the music on his own stand and poised himself in a stiff, but fluid and graceful, playing position (a pose Kaneki would never be able to understand how a violinist achieved). He tuned his violin with ease before looking over his music for a few seconds to get a general feel of what he'd be working at, dragging his bow over the strings and letting his fingers glide over the fingerboard for the slower, opening notes.

Kaneki watched and tilted his head, focusing on Ayato and Ayato alone. He was enthralled by the sickly sweet, dramatic melody at the beginning, but was completely startled when the piece sped up and turned to a more sensual theme. The white haired man tried to process what his senses were picking  up with his mouth slightly open and a very faint blush dusting his cheeks as he watched, listened, and took in everything in front of him; Ayato, Ayato's hands, the inviting, peaceful expression he had when he played, the smooth, fluid bow changes that were entirely undetectable if one was only listening and couldn't see that the bow had changed, the purely erotic sound the instrument seemed to produce just for Kaneki at Ayato's fingertips. The two repeating melodies seemed to conflict with each other, but each time one repeated, or mingled with the other, it only drew Kaneki in further and changed his opinion on the normally annoying, but somehow unbearably charming, man.

Ayato knew the other would be watching intently by the time he finished, but when he froze with his bow over the strings and let the last note ring out he was taken aback. He had no clue they'd be this enthralled. He set his violin down on his case and cleared his throat a little bit, trying not to become flustered at the expression of admiration on Kaneki's face. "Do you understand now?"

He nodded and forced himself to look somewhere else, trying to avoid the young man's questioning gaze. "Yes, I understand."

"And do you like it," Ayato asked.

Kaneki nodded, but gave no verbal answer.

"You know what would make it sound better?" He moved just a little bit closer, trying to push his boundaries.

"What would make it better," he said, sounding utterly defeated.

At the tone, the blue haired male internally cheered, but tried to stay looking entirely normal on the outside. "Well, the violin sounds nice on its own, but without a strong piano accompaniment, there's only so much it can do. Violin and Piano compliment each other. The piano would make it sound better," Ayato said, sitting on the floor next to the piano bench, though his true meaning was different.

"Oh," Kaneki said, trying to read the blunet's expression.  _"Why are you so cryptic all of a sudden,"_ his thoughts shouted, but remained unspoken,  _"Why can't I understand what you want me to say? "_

 "Yeah... But... for now, can we talk about something else?" Ayato shifted uncomfortably and sighed, folding his arms a little bit.

The older male nodded and looked over at the man on the floor. "Sure. What is it? Please, don't pull something on me the way you do the media. This isn't some publicity stunt."

He raised his hands innocently, feigning a sweet smile. "Why would I ever do something like that to you?"

Kaneki groaned and felt annoyance bubble up again. He'd decided that maybe Ayato should only play the violin and not be allowed to speak. It would be for the best. The world only allowed for so much sarcasm, and Ayato was using it all.

"Anyway, this is about... Earlier," Ayato said almost timidly.

"What about earlier?"

"Well," the young adult started, taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry for saying I hate you. You annoy me, but I don't know you enough to hate you."

Kaneki rose a brow and shrugged. "There's not much to know. I play the piano. You know all the trivial things, because I know you've read my interviews. And you... I think I know you enough from yours, too."

"And what do you think you know? I'm more than what's on paper," he drawled, frowning a little bit.

"I know you're only eighteen and that your birthday's on the fourth of July. I know you love rabbits, and dogs, and cats- almost any animal, really. I also know that as eccentric as you are, you mean well. For whatever reason, you don't want to be nice to people, but your façade slips sometimes, and you're sweet. I also know that you're very secretive," Kaneki said, looking down at him from the piano bench. He may have known the other's sister, and his back story already, but he wasn't gonna elude to that.

Ayato avoided looking at the other and hugged his knees to his chest, shaking his head slowly. "Okay, that's great," he mumbled, "somebody else who thinks they've got me pegged as a tender person."

The white haired man reached down without thinking and placed a hand on his shoulder gently, sighing quietly. "I didn't mean it like that," Kaneki huffed, "I only meant that you have a lot of different parts of your personality, and that most of them are good, aside from your temperament."

He winced and shrugged the hand off, brushing at his shoulder absentmindedly. "It's sore there," the young adult whispered, "please, don't touch my shoulders."

Kaneki fell silent and closed his eyes, attempting to compose his thoughts.

"Where do you think I get the emotions I show when I play?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm asking you if you know what I've felt before and how I get it into music."

"I honestly don't know," he said with a frown, opening his eyes.

Ayato looked up at him with an unguarded expression, one that he rarely even showed himself in the mirror. It showed everything he felt, but mostly just expressed how worn down he really was. "I've seen a lot."

 Kaneki tilted his head, trying to fully comprehend the full weight of the words that had just been spoken before he opened his mouth, trying to find the right thing to say, but utterly failing.

"Do you want to know who I am, Kaneki? If we're working together on such an intimate piece alone like this, I think we should know each other," he mumbled, shaking his head a little bit.

"Sure. Go ahead, if you want to," he urged, trying not to sound too eager to learn more.

Ayato took a deep breath and closed his eyes, lying flat on the floor posed in the way a corpse would be placed in a casket. "My name is Ayato Kirishima. I was born in 1998, on the fourth of July," he started, trying to fight the slight tremor in his voice. He'd never really opened up to anybody. "My parents  were Arata and Hikari Kirishima, and I have a single sibling who's two years older than me, Touka. I'd like to say I had a happy childhood, but..."

He listened intently as the young man spoke, actually feeling saddened at the small tremor in the other's voice. "But...?"

"But when I was two or three, my mother died. I don't know why. I can't remember how. I just know she's not alive anymore," he remarked with a sigh, staying perfectly still. "Everything was okay after that, but my father wasn't ever quite the same again. He'd smile at my sister and I, teach us to be good people, but he wasn't the man he used to be. He seemed soft, and pathetic."

Kaneki was confused as to how this part was too sad, until the other started speaking again. It was tragic, but not depressing enough to make one so upset, right? Well... One never did really know, with a violinist.

"When I was four, my father was murdered," Ayato whispered, a look of sadness and fear taking over his features, "it was the cops that did it. They'd mistaken him for a criminal when he was out of the house, and they shot and killed him when he went to get his ID. He'd left to get groceries for the next day that night, and he never came back. For years, I thought he'd just... Just abandoned my sister and I."

The older man felt his heart break at the way Ayato seemed to look like the same sad, scared kid he described and felt an urge to hold him, but refrained. "I'm so sorry," he murmured, knitting his brows a little bit.

The blunet opened his eyes as he continued and looked up at the plaster tiled ceiling. "We were put into foster care, and my uncle Renji took us in. He taught us to fight, and took us to school, but I ran away when I was eleven. I didn't really have a reason that I can remember, but  left. It was too much for me to bear. I felt like a disappointment, so I found a place to stay with my manager and a lot of other boys older than me at a preforming arts school like this one. Aogiri, it was called, I think."

"Wow," he breathed, completely immersed in the story at this point. 

Ayato glanced over at him and forced a small smile, shrugging a little bit. "I learned the violin there, and a lot of other instruments and artistic abilities. I advanced fast at it. I won competitions, was show cased in news stories. And that's it. That's my life. That's how pathetic I am. I never dated anybody, or kissed anybody. I didn't trust them enough or have the time, and none of them really liked me. I was just a pretty boy to them."

The older man nodded and offered his hand to help the other up. "And that's okay. You're young. There's bound to be somebody. To be honest, I've not either. Is being called pretty every once in awhile a bad thing, Ayato? I mean... I guess I wouldn't know the feeling." And he really meant what he said. Though... The idea that Ayato would date someone that wasn't him hurt his feelings a little bit. Kaneki didn't know why, but part of him understood why the other was so cruel, now.  _"Why am I so relieved that he's not dated anybody? I don't even like him,"_ he thought, shaking his head quickly,  _"he's the most annoying person in the world. I can't like a guy, let alone one that's a violinist **and** Ayato."_

 He took the hand and stood, stretching with a small sigh. "Like hell you don't, Kaneki," Ayato retorted without even realizing what he was doing. Realization dawned upon him soon enough, and he turned a bright shade of red as he darted back a few feet. Standing hand in hand with somebody and complimenting them was definitely not his style. He wasn't even blushing because he was embarrassed, no, he was blushing in irritation with himself for saying something so stupid, and not being able to control his own thoughs.  _"Fucking hell,"_ his thoughts hissed at him,  _"control yourself and shut your mouth before you go giving him ideas."_

"And what does that mean? Why, I think you just complimented me," Kaneki teased with a knowing smile, moving closer. He just wanted to get under their skin this time. Not lead them on or make them feel good about themself. No, he wanted to make Ayato mad. "I like that blush, Ayato. You should show it to me more. It also sounds good when you say my name like that."

"Don't be a pig," he growled, backing up defensively everytime the other seemed to be within arms reach. "I'm not taking this from  _you_ of all people." The violinist kept his eyes trained right on the other as his face returned to its normal shade. He folded his arms, glaring at Kaneki with true annoyance and dislike.  _"Why cant he just leave me alone?!"_

 _"Does he like me? I wonder."_ Kaneki rolled his eyes and took his spot at the piano bench once more, taking a halfhearted glance at the notes on the first page of his sheet music. "I was only playing, you know. I thought we could be friends."

The teenager huffed and went to stand in front of him, but still stayed in a guarded posture. "Oh, yeah? And what exactly is your definition of friend? From where I was standing it looked like you were gonna have your way with me whether I wanted it or not." He shook his head, ponytail sweeping over his shoulder as he turned away. "I don't know what you want from me."

"I want you to be you," was all Kaneki said before silence filled the room. It stayed that way for a minute or two with almost palpable tension in the space between them.

 _"Friends,"_ Ayato snorted in disbelief,  _"yeah, that'll be the day. Friends with Kaneki Ken? Never."_

The white haired man didn't even bother looking back at the other as he acquainted himself with the unfamiliar piano. All of them were the same, in theory, but the tonal shifts between each one was very unique. He sighed, playing through some scales and arpeggios. In an effort to break the uncomfortable silence, he started a true piece, one that he didn't even have to read from a piece of sheet music, because he'd played it so often. It was a simple melody, but it was haunting. It rose the hair on the back of his neck as he played, feeling Ayato's eyes taking him in. It wasn't long before they were next to him again, watching with a thoughtful expression.

"That's nice," he interrupted at one point, placing his hands on Kaneki's to stop the piece, "but I think... you should try something like... This." On the last word, he shifted their fingers into a different chord and led the right hand into a slow roll up the matching arpeggio to the chord. He immediately felt the other freeze underneath him and moved away. 

 _"That's actually perfect,"_ Kaneki thought as he stared at his hands on the piano, tilting his head at the somehow familiar positioning of them and it was almost like he could still feel the smaller man's hands on his own. But he wasn't going to admit that. Whatever it was that just happened, it would stay between them. He took his hands off the keys, not even bothering to finish as he looked over at Ayato. "What was that?"

Ayato refused to look over as he shook his head slowly. "I heard the progress you've been making on that original composition. It just... never sounded quite right when you got to that part to me. Just forget about it."

The pianist stared him down in slight shock, tilting his head a little bit and knitting his brows in confusion. He went back to the piece a little bit before where Ayato made the change and played through the way Ayato would. Kaneki gasped softly at the improved flow and shook his head. "How didn't I hear that? I'm an idiot," he mumbled.

"You're not an idiot. All I did was change the modified A to a full A. It just needed a little bit extra in that area."

"I know. You're right."

"Just shut up and leave it at that, okay? Nobody will ever know that a violinist damaged your pride."

Kaneki frowned and looked away, resting his hands in his lap. "Look, I know I've said some pretty mean things about violinists before. I take it back. Okay? You're not them. You don't think you own the world."

The teenager folded his arms and fell silent, disappearing into his thoughts.  _"I wish I could understand what you want. You hurt me, and then you make it better, and I can't believe I'm just letting you do this. I hate you, and I'm sitting here exposing myself to you. What's wrong with me?"_

 _"Just look at me,"_ Kaneki willed, giving Ayato a pleading look,  _"I'm sorry for fighting you. I can't help it when you act like you can't trust me. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't know what's okay to say to you."_

At that point in time, the conductor walked into the silent room to both of them looking down without any sign of playing anything. She simply sighed and cleared her throat to gain control of their attention, nodding towards the open door. "I'm going to show you to the orchestra now, so they don't get startled if they find either of you two around the school during the day. Come with me."

Ayato frowned and looked over at Kaneki, shaking his head before moving to follow the conductor. The pianist followed shortly after and entered the room with Ayato.

The two musicians glanced at each other with slightly forced smiles while the orchestra processed what was in front of them. As the conductor motioned to them each in turn, she introduced them by name, even though more than half of the class was well aware of who the two men in the room were. They both greeted the class in turn, and listened to the students questions.

"So was the violin we heard from down the hall when we were entering you? Are you really gonna play for us?" A girl, who appeared to be first chair violin, was clearly overjoyed to be in the presence of Ayato.

Ayato smiled almost timidly and nodded, making a gesture towards Kaneki. "Yes, it was me, but at that point in time... I wasn't playing for me, or for you. I was playing for Kaneki."

" ** _But that piece sounded like pure seduction_** ," one of the cellists exclaimed, staring at them with wide eyes.

This time Kaneki laughed, even though he had a very faint blush. "I'm afraid that's what we were given to work with. Ayato was familiar with the sonata, so he was just letting me hear it... right?"

Ayato simply swallowed dryly and looked away, pretending he hadn't heard the exchange as he sat patiently in front of a girl who'd asked to play with his hair. "I'm sorry, I heard my name, but I didn't quite catch that. Maybe I'll answer that one some other time." He gave the older male a pleading look, cluing them into the fact that it was just a little too awkward for him to answer in front of everybody else.

"Um... okay. Right-"

"Why are you two playing together? Don't you guys dislike each other? Oh! Are you two dating?" One of the members had interrupted Kaneki's sentence and was immediately hushed by the rest of the group that had suddenly gone silent as they awaited the answer.

Kaneki stared at Ayato, who now had two braids in his hair like a young girl and had somehow acquired a flower crown, and Ayato stared back. It was ridiculous, really, if you were looking in from the outside to see a grown man in a flower crown with braided hair staring at another man who seemed like he'd gone overboard with bleaching his hair, but to them, it was a very awkward question.

Ayato coughed quietly and stood, thanking the girl for doing his hair before looking down at the floor with his arms behind his back. "There isn't a good answer for your question."

"To be honest, neither of us have ever truly wanted anything romantic."

"We're married to our work. Does this make things clear to you?"

"But if you're married to whatever job you're doing, and you two are working together... wouldn't that make you two married?"

At that, Ayato simply walked out of the room and shook his head slowly. He was silently fuming in the practice room by the time Kaneki entered, clearly annoyed with the fact he was ditched to handle the questions alone. However, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw how distraught the younger man was. He sighed and rubbed his temples, trying to figure out just what exactly was going on. "Ayato," he started, but cut himself off when he was met with a truly sad glare.

"Fuck off, will you," he mumbled, moving towards the corner with a small groan. "Why can't you just leave me alone and let me be?"

"What's all of this about?" Kaneki kept his voice quiet and kneeled in front of the teenager sitting with their knees up to their chest in the corner. He cautiously reached forward and placed a hand on his forearm, frowning when he felt them wince.

Ayato didn't even bother pushing the other away, and only seemed to get sadder. It was like he'd simply lost the motivation to keep his act up anymore today. "When they asked if we were dating... You laughed," he whispered, "and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I don't know if you realize this, but I have a really fragile self esteem Kaneki... It felt like you were disgusted with the idea of being with me..."

Kaneki's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. "No! I laughed because I think it's funny that they even had to ask if I would. Ayato, look at me." He kept his tone gentle and smiled warmly, moving in just a little bit closer still. "Would I be doing this right now if you disgusted me?"

"You probably just want to get in me pants," he mumbled, glaring half heartedly.

"That's part of it, but I'm not that kind of person. I don't sleep around. I've never even slept with anybody in the first place. You think I could honestly do something like that when I'm always saying how I like everything I do to mean something?" He shook his head, gently taking the flower crown from the young man's head and undoing the braids.

Ayato closed his eyes, but let the other do whatever it was they were trying to do with his hair. It wasn't like it mattered much. "I guess I just don't trust people, now do I?"

"It doesn't seem like you do, and that's okay," Kaneki hummed, running his fingers through the other's long, silky hair in an effort to get rid of the few tangles in it. "Do you hate me?"

"No... I don't hate you," he muttered, turning a bright shade of red when a hand was placed on one of his cheeks. He couldn't help but lean into the touch, even though it was the last thing he thought he wanted.

 He nodded and rested his forehead on Ayato's, staying perfectly calm, though he was blushing a little bit. "Then don't be  mad at me, please? I don't know what I did wrong," Kaneki whispered.

The young man closed his eyes and sighed softly, letting him have his way. "I'm not mad at you. I promise."

Kaneki leaned in just a little bit more and tilted his head, closing his eyes as he pressed a lingering kiss to the other's lips gently. Ayato's eyes opened in surprise at this and his face turned an even darker shade of red, making a muffled sound of startled confusion before cautiously kissing back. Just as suddenly as the kiss started, it ended, and both of them were left looking at each other with confused expressions.

"Sorry, I-"

"No, Kaneki, I li-"

"Really... I'm sorry."

"Just forget it."

***

A week had passed since the first day, and they'd met at the school practice room every day and alternated meeting at other designated meeting spots after the school had closed or on weekends. The air around them had been heavy and awkward since the kiss, and they didn't talk about anything but the piece anymore. It was too awkward to do anything else.

Ayato entered the room early on a friday morning and set his case down, unpacking his violin as usual when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. "Hey!" he squirmed, fighting to get out of the hold.

"Hey, it's only me," Kaneki said with a frown, letting him go. He sighed, looking over the other's appearance, that was messier than usual.  _"Why do you always have to fight me, Ayato? I wish you'd just talk to me,"_ he thought, closing his eyes for a few seconds,  _"you've gotten careless recently, you're beginning to look like it, too."_

He turned, facing him with a quiet huff. "I though we agreed that nobody was touching anybody."

"So?"

"So, I don't want you to touch me," he mumbled, absenmindedly placing a hand on his own lips as he thought back to the surprise kiss.

The older man shook his head and took a step closer with an annoyed expression. "No, Ayato, we're going to talk about this," he stated, moving in closer and closer until the other was stuck between himself and a corner.

Ayato groaned quietly and folded his arms, trying to figure out what it is they wanted. "What is it, then? I'm lost," he remarked, feigning ignorance. He wasn't much in the mood of games.

"I've been so patient with you, but I just can't take it anymore," Kaneki huffed out, grabbing the smaller man's wrists and pinning them to the wall next to their head.

"What are you doing?!" He whined, squirming in an effort to get out of the tight grasp, but it was impossible. "Let me go!"

He leaned in close, shaking his head slowly. A shiver ran down his spine when he saw Ayato start gasping quietly from physical exertion while they challenged his hold, but his grip remained strong. "I don't love you. I really don't. Don't get the wrong idea here."

The young man looked at the other with wide, slightly panicked eyes as he tried one last attempt to get free, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, and there was no doubt Kaneki could feel it too, considering the tight hold on his wrists he had. "Please... let me go."

Kaneki rolled his eyes and pressed a fiery kiss to the other's lips, sighing in relief at the soft, smooth texture they offered him. He let his grip relax when he felt Ayato kiss back and let his eyes close, not even paying attention to the fact that anybody could walk in at any time.

"I hate you so much," the blunet mumbled against his lips, but kissed back with just as much ferver. He tangled his fingers in soft white hair and closed his eyes, gasping when his bottom lip was taken into the other's mouth and sucked on and nipped at. The two continued on this way for a short amount of time, simply kissing and petting each other. Both of them kept their eyes closed until they ended up moving away from the corner, Kaneki physically picking Ayato up and carrying him. The smaller man wrapped his legs around their waist, but didn't once allow the kiss to stop before the other set him down on the floor and almost literally tackled him.

He laid flat on his back, gasping for air when he heard Kaneki a quick "I hate you too." Ayato laughed breathlessly and shook his head, pushing at the man on top of him half heartedly. He sighed softly when he caught his breath and relaxed, and it was nice to be able to simply sit there without doing anything. 

"What was that for? You could've said something before," he hummed, sitting up and attempting smooth down his now wild hair.

Kaneki shrugged and helped him with his hair before fussing with his own, nodding in approval when Ayato stepped in to return the favor. "Look, you aren't very approachable, Mr. I'm-gorgeous-and-I-refuse-to-admit-it-but-I'll-still-steal-your- ~~boy~~ ~~-~~ girl-Kirishima. If you were a chick, you could easily get in playboy. Hell, you probably could now, even. Put you in some kind of school girls' outfit and label you an adolescent and I bet almost everyone will be pining over you."

Ayato rolled his eyes, laughing quietly. "As if you aren't attractive or intimidating. You have that whole steel-eyed-glare thing down, you know? It's extremely sexy," he said with a shrug, "and what makes it better is that I'm always the one on the recieving end of it. Nobody else. Just me. And I think that's perfect."

"You're perfect," He blurted without even thinking, causing the smaller man to turn a bright shade of red and look away. "I mean... What makes being around you perfect for me is that fact that I'm the only person you really show your smile to. Do you even know how breath taking it is? Your smile lights up the whole room, and your laugh is so sweet... And I'm one of the only people who can get you to do that for real."

They fell into a comfortable silence and grabbed onto each other's hands with exasperated smiles, but it wasn't too bad. Eventually Ayato broke the silence with a timid cough. "So I think we can say we're friends now, right?"

"If we couldn't, I'd hate to see how much it takes to be your friend. What, do we have to go all four bases for that?" Kaneki laughed and stood, offering the other his hand.

The blunet shook his head and smiled brighter, taking their hand to help himself up. "Oh shut up, what do you know? You're just a crotchety old man."

He took his seat at the piano and tilted his head with an amused huff. "Really now? I'm so deeply hurt!" he exclaimed with mock offense.

"Whatever. Just start the intro already, okay? We've tried this like ten times and it never works," he mumbled the last time, grabbing his violin and poising himself in standing rest position while he waited through the intro.

Now, it isn't that the two make mistakes while they play, it's that one of them stops for an unexplainable reason. It's almost like a mental block, and both of them hate it. Kaneki says it's because neither of them understand the feeling behind it yet, and Ayato blames Kaneki for "messing up the tempo and rhythm." Neither of these are exactly true, but Kaneki was probably more accurate with his guess. It didn't matter much. The two played through the majority of the first part of the sonata with no issue, which is as far as they'd ever gotten, but by the time it sped into a sensual theme, they both stopped.

"Sorry," Kaneki muttered, shaking his head a little bit.

"No, I'm sorry," Ayato insisted, moving closer. "I wonder what the block is here."

 _"He must think I'm an idiot,"_ he cursed internally, frowning a little bit,  _"I wish I could just ignore the emotion the way he can in this piece."_ He shook his head quickly and glanced up at the other. "I think I don't understand what I'm supposed to make this sound like."

"What does that mean? You know the melody, I've heard you play it without me, before."

"I mean... I don't understand the sensuality. I don't get the sexuality of it. I've never...." Kaneki trailed off, avoiding eye contact.

Ayato immediately placed a hand on the other's face and turned them to make eye contact. "And I haven't either. So we both have to suck it up and start working on this, or we'll be a laughing stock," he said, trying to get the other to think logically. "What do you think we should do, huh, Kaneki?"

"Well there is one thing that we could try, maybe..."

"You don't mean-"

"Yes, I do."

***

Ayato looked up from his spot at his kitchen table, meeting Kaneki's eyes with a little bit of shame and anxiety. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean..." He sighed when words failed him and retreated into his own thoughts.  _"If you do this, you can't leave me... If I do this, it means something."_

"We don't have to if you don't want to," he reassured, poking at his mostly untouched slice of pizza. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I know it's been a couple weeks, since I suggested this, but I want you to be okay with it if we do."

"No, it's not that I wouldn't be okay with it. I'm just... I'm scared, okay," He said, looking down with a small frown.

Kaneki moved closer, tilting Ayato's head up to make eye contact. "Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" His voice was quiet, but it was still clear. His intentions were made very obvious in that one question. _"I've told you my life story, too, and you still think you mean nothing to me when you know I don't open up to people. How can't you see that it's you that I want?"_

The blunet closed his eyes in an attempt not to have to face reality, but everywhere that was touched by the other felt like it was burning. He opened his mouth to speak, but was met with a gentle kiss instead, one that wasn't like the last kiss they'd shared. Ayato relaxed and loosely held onto Kaneki's shirt, barely able to keep track of a single thought in his mind.  _"That's nice,"_ his thoughts seemed to say,  _"touch me more. Just don't go."_

He pulled back to take a breath and smiled warmly, gently running a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to hurt you. If you want me to stay, I will, and if that means forever and always, that's okay."

Ayato smiled and felt a rush of emotion at the last sentence the other spoke, pulling him into a tight hug that somehow ended up as a kiss. The two embraced and Kaneki picked Ayato up again, but this time the kiss was slow and neither of them were whispering insults. Kaneki, having received the grand tour of Ayato's relatively large home (for a single man) earlier, carried him to bed and laid him down gently. he moved his kisses from their lips to the side of their neck, earning himself a few quiet noises that made him shiver. He gently bit down every so often, sucking softly in a few strategic places and leaving very light hickies.

Quiet gasps and whimpers escaped the younger man as he was pinned down, tilting his head to the side. "Kaneki," he mumbled, earning himself a quiet, possessive growl from the other. Ayato felt himself get a little bit hard at the sound and looked away, blushing a furious shade of red. "People will see these."

"Good." Kaneki's response was quick as he pulled back and worked on trailing his hands all over the man underneath him, admiring his prize for being patient. He gave the other a quick kiss, feeling a small hand slip under his own shirt. He gasped and broke the kiss, looking down with a breathless laugh.

 "Sorry!" He pulled his hand back when the other laughed, biting his bottom lip. "Should I not touch you?" An anxious expression took the place of his smile as he looked up at Kaneki, shifting uncomfortably underneath him.

The white haired man shook his head and took both of the other's hands. He gently squeezed his hands before placing them under his own shirt with an approving nod. "I only laughed because I realized that you really are small compared to me. Feeling your hands on me... It made me happy. You can touch me."

Ayato nodded quickly and felt around the unexplored skin under his fingertips with a relieved sigh. He made eye contact and smiled, fully relaxing. "I'm barely two inches shorter than you, weirdo."

"Still smaller than me," he hummed, leaning back down to kiss him gently, "and narrower, too." Kaneki's heart fluttered as the other continued to place touches that were featherlight all over his torso and he felt perfectly at ease. This may have been a first for both of them, but it wasn't uncomfortable in the slightest.

The blunet whined quietly when the kiss was broken, but shut himself up when the other started pulling their own shirt off. He watched with a slightly open mouth and immediately sat up to touch and feel more, using his lips, tongue, and teeth as part of his method of learning everything about the other's smooth skin as he possibly could. "Kaneki," he mumbled, gently biting down on his collar bone.

A sharp gasp of arousal escaped him and he trailed a hand down the other's back before he started tugging their shirt off. Eventually, the kisses had to stop momentarily for the shirt to be fully removed, but contact was quickly made yet again. "That's nice," Kaneki mumbled, threading his fingers through long and silky blue hair.

Ayato left trails of dark hickies down the side of the older man's neck and admired his own work before he was forced to stop by the other moving down lower to kiss his chest. He shivered when warm breath ghosted over his nipples, mewling softly when one was taken into Kaneki's mouth. "Oh-! Oh!" He moaned quietly when the other started sucking and nipping at the sensitive pink bud, his full body blushing in embarrassment. He arched his back, another soft sound escaping him when he felt nimble fingers tease his other nipple before switching sides.

"You're all mine," Kaneki manage to growl against ivory skin as he kissed his way lower. Dark love bites were left on his way down, and he reveled in the way it earned him sharp gasps and moans. He massaged Ayato's hips gently and continued kissing and biting trails down his V-lines. "Don't let anybody else touch you like this," he growled possessively, shivering when he heard a whimper of pleasure escape the teenager. 

"I'm yours," he panted out, lifting his hips timidly when the other started to tug his jeans down after undoing his belt. Ayato had bright red dusting all of his pulse points, but he didn't care when everything felt this good. His senses were overloaded with new feelings, and he wanted to explore them all. He moaned loudly when the other pressed wet kisses to him through his boxers, his hips thrusting up involuntarily.

The white haired man looked up at him with a devious grin and softly lapped at the head of his erection through the thin fabric of his boxers. "You're so sexy," he purred, closing his eyes as he spread the other's legs and settled in. Kaneki kissed his inner thighs, leaving dark hickies and reveling in the whimpers and moans filling the air.

"Ah-ahhnn... Kaneki," he muttered, reaching down and resting a hand in the other's hair, with a smile, "don't..."

"Why not?" He whined quietly, but stopped, though neither of them moved at all. He didn't kiss anymore areas, but he did stay gently rubbing their thighs.

Ayato laughed under his breath and gently stroked his cheek. "I mean... If you leave hickies there like that... You'll have to come up with an excuse for me leaving every five minutes to look at them."

Kaneki nodded, leaning down again and leaving more dark love bites. "I'll make Miss. Eto live with you leaving so often," he mumbled against his skin, muffling his voice. "I take pride in my work~ and I want you to admire it."

He blushed and laughed, shivering with a breathless moan at the bites. Kaneki's teeth snagged on his boxers, and he turned an even brighter shade of red as he propped himself up on his elbows to look down at him. Ayato bit his bottom lip, timidly watching the other pull his boxers off. "Oh fuck me..."

"That's the plan," Kaneki hummed, giggling at the other's words and actions. He licked the palm of his own hand for lubrication, gently taking him into his hand and jacking him off slowly. "You look good like this," he whispered, somehow smiling innocently as he continued stroking the other.

Ayato panted, moaning under his breath at the touch. He tilted his head back and tensed up a little bit, twitching in his lover's (? he wasn't quite sure that was a word they'd both agree on) hand. He arched his back, longing for more contact. It was then that he felt a warm, wet sensation on the underside of the head of his now leaking erection, that he could only assume was the other's tongue. He moaned loudly, tangling his fingers in the sheets.

Kaneki laughed quietly, lapping at the sensitive skin before taking the very tip in his mouth. He closed his eyes, sucking in a very gentle fashion as he softly massaged their hip with his free hand, shivering at the quiet mewls coming from the other. The older man kept stroking and sucking, slowly moving his hand and mouth in time to each other and keeping the other in place, so he wasn't choked as he slowly took more and more. He eventually opened his eyes, though he was blushing, and made eye contact with a totally blissed out Ayato. Kaneki pulled back and took a deep breath, smiling warmly at him while his hand moved a little bit faster. "You taste nice, Ayato."

" _Fuck-_ Kaneki," he gasped out, shouting quietly in surprise when he was taken into their mouth again. This time, it wasn't just the tip, but more each time the other went back down. The movements were deliberate, and well timed, as he lost his patience slowly and began squirming a little bit with pleasure. "Please, please, give me more," Ayato mumbled, grabbing onto the other's hair tightly and gasping loudly when his tip hit the back of their throat. Much to his own surprise, Kaneki didn't gag, and instead went further, making the young man even more desperate for more. He could tell Ayato was ready to be completely and utterly dominated by the way he was acting, and he was definitely planning to deliver on what he was wordlessly promising.

Pulling back with a soft sucking sound, he pressed a few more gentle kisses to the others thighs and hips, somehow managing an innocent smile, even though the wet sounds of jacking the teen off and their moans filled the room. He leaned up to whisper in their ear, laughing quietly as he did so. "Where's the lube?"

Ayato shivered and whined when the other withdrew all contact, but immediately, but was immediately sated when he was pulled onto the other's (fully clothed, much to Ayato's disapproval) lap. "Top drawer of my nightstand... In the very back of the drawer..."

"Well, then, we'll just have to find a more accessible place for it, now won't we? Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter for now," Kaneki purred, trailing a hand all along the torso of the man in his lap as he leaned over and grabbed the lube after digging around in the drawer for a few seconds. "Oh, you got astroglide? Good choice," he praised, squeezing the cool gel-like substance onto his hand and making sure his fingers were well coated, using the extra to stroke the other with a very slick touch.

"Oh! I've never tried this kind before, I thought it'd be nice." He bit his bottom lip when he felt the other start rubbing their finger over his entrance, and intrude it just slightly with less than their middle finger. It was very embarrassing for Ayato, being sprawled out on the lap of another man, with hickies covering almost every open space between his jawline and knees, but he was too aroused to care. His breath hitched when he felt a slender digit find its way inside slowly, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as he'd expected. Truth be told, he'd tried stretching himself just a little bit the past few weeks, to make this a little bit easier on the other, but he chickened out every time and stopped quickly. But this time was different; Ayato wasn't in control, and bodily sensations definitely were a whole new thing when someone else was giving them to him.

Kaneki couldn't help but groan quietly at the unbearably tight heat surrounding his finger, desperately wanting to just strip himself and fuck the boy raw. He knew it was wrong to think that, and he shook as he tried to keep himself in check, but it was extremely hard for him to stay gentle. "Fuck, you've not even touched yourself here, I can tell," the white haired man mumbled, keeping a very slow pace with his middle finger.

Ayato shook his head and moaned quietly, pain and discomfort melting into pleasure at the hands of the other. He panted, looking away as quiet mewls escaped his lips. "I wanted to... so I could make it easy for you," He muttered, a bright red color dusting his cheeks, "but I couldn't bring myself to do it.." He writhed in pleasure as the other slid their finger in and out while stroking his leaking erection and felt himself twitch involuntarily when another finger was being teasingly rubbed up against the outside of his entrance.

 The white haired man grinned and pressed it in slowly without any further warning, and simply continued moving his fingers without giving much more time to adjust. The other didn't seem to mind it much, so he didn't see a reason why he should stop jerking them off or fingering them. Of course, Ayato might regret not telling the other to go slower in the morning, but right now, he was too aroused to even remember fully where he was. Kaneki curved his fingers upwards and sped up the hand that was jerking him off, smirking in satisfaction when they shouted in pleasure. "Did I find it?"

"Find what?!" He moaned loudly and tossed his head back in pure bliss while the other pleasured him. It was mind-blowing the way they were touching him, and he never ever wanted it to stop. If the whole world ended, Ayato was certain that he wouldn't care one bit. Not as long as he could be in bed with the other like this. Though, no matter how much he wished this would go on forever, he knew it would have to come to an end sometime, in the back of his mind.

"Your prostate," he hummed, rapidly moving both hands with a satisfied smirk. Kaneki didn't mind if he wasn't the one being pleasured. It didn't matter. It brought him just as much satisfaction to see the younger male, the onle he'd hated for so long, squirming on his lap and near begging for more. "The spot that makes you want more. The one that feels insanely good when I touch it."

Ayato panted, a loud, almost startled moan escaping him at the quick pace, feeling the muscles in his stomach contract and flex with every labored breath he took. Everything felt way to good, and he could hardly help it when his hips tried to move on their own and he started squirming. "What do you think, stupid?!" he groaned out, digging his fingers into the sheets. He hadn't meant the word in a harsh way, but a pang of guilt hit him right in the chest. However, that was short lived, because that was when the other pushed him flat onto his back and started relentlessy slamming their fingers up against his prostate with a wicked grin.

Kaneki looked down at the young man, with the annoyingly perfect features and annoyingly perfectly excessively long hair, pinning his wrists down with the hand that was previously treating their erection and found a way to move his other hand in an even faster manner, forcing in another finger roughly and reveling in the shouts of pleasure it earned him. He leaned down the other's throat and left obvious love bites and bruises in his wake, ones that would take weeks, maybe even months, to fully go away. And he didn't care. Didn't care that it could potentially make Ayato be seen as slutty, in the eyes of the public. Didn't care that there would be rumors circulating. "You were saying?"

"Ack-!! Idiot!" Ayato groaned, trying to free his wrists and stop feeling so good, but it was pointless. His vision blurred every time the other did something particularly pleasurable, and he was absolutely certain he was  _without a doubt_ going to come  _very_ soon, if this didn't stop. "Kaneki! I can't," he managed to call out, voice rough with the after effects of the amount of times he'd near screamed, "if you don't stop, I'll-!! I'll- Fuck!" And just like that, with a few more well placed touches, he lost it. He almost screamed the other's name, as hot, sticky fluid spurted onto his chest, hips trying to thrust up against something that wasn't there and eventually trying to pull themselves away when the other didn't stop their relentless pace.

"That's great, but I'm not done with you yet," the white haired man growled in their ear, feeling a renewed surge of annoyance at the fact that Ayato could cut this short. Well, that definitely wasn't going to happen if Kaneki had any say in it. He didn't care if Ayato was going to black out if they did any more, because it was his turn to get even with him for leaving him in the orchestra room every single time they had to talk to the class. It was his turn to get back at him for stupid, irritating remarks about him from the other that had been spread through the press like wildfire. Pulling his fingers out and grabbing the lube, he looked the spent teenager right in the eyes as he undressed. "Don't move." It might have seemed like he was being selfish, acting completely wrong, and purely out of desire, but he didn't mean to harm the other. Ayato hadn't said stop, hadn't complained yet, so he was going to keep going. Of course, if Ayato said no, or told him to stop, he would, no matter how much he didn't want to.

The young man panted, lying in the same position he'd been left in when Kaneki had reclaimed both of his hands. He watched them, but made absolutely no physical effort to do anything whatsoever. He was far too blissed out for that, and the knowledge that the older man wanted to completely wreck him sent a chill of excitement running down his spine. He knew he should probably say no, to stop, and to wait a little bit, but he didn't care. Not right now. Ayato took in the sight of Kaneki pouring a generous amount of lube on himself and his breath hitched, knowing full well what was coming next.

Kaneki leaned down so his lips were less than an inch away from the other's, looking into their eyes as though he was challenging them. "If you think I'm going to put a condom on, you're dead wrong. You're going to feel me this time. You're never going to forget it. Never going to forget  _me_." He lined himself up, rubbing himself up against their entrance with a sharp gasp. He'd expected them to be tight, but the sensation he got every time he tried to push in even just a little bit was enough to test his patience right there. He tried his best to slide in slowly, tried not to hurt Ayato too badly, but he knew it was probably going to hurt anyway. After he was fully inside, his gaze took on a slightly more distant look, but he kept his eyes focused on Ayato, pinning their wrists down with a tight hold that would probably bruise and using his other hand to hold onto their waist with the same amount of force.

Ayato knew that now, there was nothing he could do or say that would make it so Kaneki would stop without a fight. It isn't that he didn't want it, but he really wanted to catch his breath. "Kaneki," he breathed out, earning himself a bated gasp from the other as they slowly moved in and out with shallow thrusts. He loved the feeling of being possessed, but there was no point in holding him down so tightly, now. He was sapped of energy, and he knew it was obvious, but he did love the way it seemed like the other felt that if they let go even just a little bit, he wouldn't be there anymore, and it made him satisfied to understand that he was truly desired by them.

"No more talking unless it's my name," he demanded, narrowing his eyes at the lack of fight from the other. Kaneki had known the other would be tired after the first go around for them, but he didn't know they'd be that exhausted. It didn't matter much though, because he still seemed to be enjoying himself at the hot and heavy touches. Even though he immediately wanted to fuck Ayato raw, wanted to flip him over and pound him into the sheets, do him until he was completely and utterly senseless, he knew he had to restrain himself. now was far from the right time to do it, and he knew it, and so he sighed, starting with a slow pace. It wasn't long before he was moving faster, taking even less time than before and moving faster still. Nothing else mattered to him right now, as he stared down at the blue haired boy underneath him; not the piano, not the stupid rivalry between them, and not his manager who had warned him not to get involved.

Loud gasps and moans escaped Ayato, writhing in over sensitivity. He arched his back, wanting to pull back because of the over stimulation, but also wanting to get more of the unbearable pleasure. He shuddered when the hand that was on his hip moved to stroke him, and his vision blurred at the sudden pleasure. He knew he shouldn't be this loud, but he didn't have much of a choice in it when he was being completely and utterly owned by the man on top of him. He tugged on his arms, finally, a little bit recovered from his first orgasm, but still extra sensitive. Of course, the whimpers and choked off moans only seemed to encourage the other to move more and move harder.

Kaneki had just barely started, and already, he felt like he could release at any time. He knew he was chancing it, after he made the other peak in a fit of annoyance, but he had been trying to gain control of the situation. And of course, all he'd done was make it so the other was over sensitive and tight around him, and it felt like heaven. It was hot, and warm, and slick with lube, and he never wanted it to stop, but the time he could last was quickly running out, and if the way Ayato was acting was any clue as to what they were feeling, Kaneki was sure they didn't have much time left either so he released their wrists.

He trembled underneath the other, moving to claw at their back at the newfound freedom. Ayato felt his hips buck a little bit as his stomach tightened, and then it was all over. He came hard, almost screaming the other's name as he writhed in pleasure, trying hard not to scratch at the other's skin too hard, but still leaving visible marks.

The older man actually moaned at the tightness and kept thrusting for another minute or two before ultimately giving up and coming deep inside the blunet with a shout of their name, falling onto the bed next to them. Kaneki didn't bother pulling out yet, and opted for holding the other close, as though they were spooning, panting as he leaned over to steal a small kiss before lying back down. He laughed breathlessly and closed his eyes, trailing his fingers over Ayato's ivory skin with a feather light touch.

"That was so gross," Ayato managed, but laughed all the same, grinning as he moved to get the other out of him before snuggling back up against him with a satisfied sigh. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but that definitely hadn't been it, but it was even better than what he'd wanted. He closed his eyes and relaxed, stifling a yawn and threading his fingers with Kaneki's. "You made me cum  _twice_ and you didn't even let me breathe first." He busted up into a fit of giggles and shook his head, squeezing their hand.

"Yeah, but you enjoyed it," he hummed, pressing small kisses to the back of their neck with a smile. A more gentle side of Kaneki was being displayed, as he softly massaged the other's wrists and hips, trying to sooth the other's muscles in places he'd been particularly hard on. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Aya," he whispered, softly running the fingers of his free hand through the other's silky blue hair as he pulled the ponytail holder out slowly and undid the ribbon.

He smiled tiredly and shrugged, moving enough to tug his own boxers back on. He'd never been able to relax when he was naked, and even something as small as boxers was enough to make him comfortable. "Yeah, yeah, now would you please put your underwear on so I don't wake up to your bare dick pressed up against my face or something? I promise I'm okay."

Kaneki rolled his eyes, but complied with a soft laugh as he pulled his boxers on as well before taking their previous position again. "Are you sure? I was pretty rough with you..."

Ayato turned to bury his face against the older man's chest, nodding slowly. "Yes, Neki... I'm a little sore, but I'm okay," he muttered sleepily, closing his eyes with a silent yawn. He felt himself fully relax when warm arms wrapped around him legs entertaining with his own, a content sigh escaping him.

"I'm sorry... I promise, I'll make it up to you, bunny," he whispered, nuzzling their neck, "now rest, Aya..." Kaneki smiled when he realized Ayato had already fallen asleep by the time he finished, closing his eyes as he pulled the blankets tight around them. He drifted off as well, sleeping peacefully in the other's arms. A soft mumble of "I think I love you" escaped him as he snuggled in, a satisfied smile gracing his lips. 

***

Kaneki woke up first in the morning, smiling warmly at the young man in his arms. His heart fluttered at the soft sounds the other made when they reposition themselves, holding him even closer. "Hey there, sleeping beauty," he muttered.

The teenager sighed happily, a soft purr like sound escaping him at the gentle touches he was receiving. Ayato's eyes fluttered open slowly at the touches and he blushed at the adoring look on his lover's (? Was that the right word?) face. "Kaneki," he muttered, squeaking softly when he realized they both had morning wood and their erections were pressed up against each other rather snuggly.

"Mmmnnn... Yeah?" He stole a small kiss, grinning at the affectionate actions of the other. Kaneki rubbed the small of his back, reveling in the soft whimper it earned him. He already knew both of them were turned on, he'd been up about an hour longer than the other, but he was still happy when the other showed how willing they were.

"I like you a lot," Ayato whispered, unintentionally grinding against the other as he snuggled up closer. He squealed when the other rolled onto their back and pulled him on top, straddling their lap.

Kaneki smiled, pulling him into a short, passionate kiss. "Ah~ I should hope so after last night. How do you feel? Lemme help you out this morning." He ran his hands down their sides, slowly grinding up against him.  _"I'm gonna be gentle this time, and it's gonna be even better than the first,"_ he thought, shivering in excitement at the idea of slow, sleepy, morning sex. He wanted to wake up with the other every single day.

The teenager lost all train of thought at the touches and leaned down to give him a slow kiss, wordlessly accepting their demand. He closed his eyes, keeping the pace slow and placing his hands on Kaneki's chest.

The older man flipped their position slowly, trailing kisses down the other's bare chest. "You're beautiful," he whispered, kissing spots where he'd left love bites the night before. Kaneki rubbed his hips before pushing the covers off of them both and tugging the other's boxers down. He moved in to take them in his mouth, but Ayato placed a hand on their forehead to stop them.

"It's uh... My turn to do that for you, isn't it?" Ayato turned a bright shade of red and glanced away. The only reaction he'd gotten was a shrug and the other going down on him. It wasn't unpleasant, but he did feel a little bit selfish. The feeling of unease quickly melted away as the other pumped and sucked, and he looked down at them with desire, soft moans escaping him.

Kaneki made eye contact and reached for the bottle of lube that hadn't been put away the night before as he sucked, coating his fingers in the slick substance. He thrust in two fingers, knowing the other wouldn't be fully recovered from the night before, though he was somewhat wrong in this assumption. The blunet seemed just as tight as before, and it made him shiver with desire.

He arched his back and tilted his head back, tangling a hand in the other's hair. "Nnghh... Please just take me," he mumbled, breathy moans passing his lips.

The white haired man nodded and pulled his fingers away, coating his erection with lube before pulling back with a soft popping noise. "Okay... Relax, bunny," Kaneki chided, lining himself up with the other and slowly thrusting in. He set a slow pace and flashed a loving smile at the man moaning underneath him, feeling his heart melt at how sweet they still seemed to be even at a time like this.

"Kaneki! You're so big," he breathed out, hugging the other tightly. Ayato wrapped his legs loosely around their waist and closed his eyes, panting as he moved his hips back against the other's. Their pace sped up and he gasped loudly, closing his eyes.

Kaneki grinned, pressing gentle kisses to his neck. They might not have been going very fast, but it was early in the morning, and he knew they'd both be coming soon. His breath hitched and he shuddered when the other tensed a little bit, shaking his head slowly with a breathless laugh.

Ayato came with a soft shout of the other's name, taking deep breaths as he wriggled slowly. He moaned when the other gave one last thrust, happily letting them do as they pleased. "You make me feel so full..."

He rolled his eyes with a smile and pulled him into a kiss, laughing against his lips. "Thanks, I suppose, Aya," he hummed, pulling out and lying on his back with a content sigh. He looked up at the ceiling and held the other's hand, soaking in the afterglow.

"It was still gross, though," he teased, quirking a brow. Ayato stifled a laugh, feeling refreshed, and happy. After all, sex was more effective at waking a person up in the morning then coffee, and it released endorphins. "Thank you though."

Kaneki nodded, propping himself up on his elbows and looking over the younger man.

***

They'd spent the rest of that day simply hanging out together and playing hooky from rehearsal, watching movies and occasionally tackling each other in half hearted arguments that ended in laughs.

Ayato thought back on the day fondly, when the other had gone to their own home, cuddling up on his bed with his bunnies and dogs. He found himself missing the other, his heart aching a little bit. "Why do I feel like this? It isn't fair," he thought out loud, groaning quietly.

Eventually, he stood up and shooed his pets from the bed, taking the bedding off and heading towards his washer. Ayato didn't want to lose the scent of the other in bed,so he didn't wash the pillow cases, but he knew it probably wasn't a very good idea to keep using sheets after you'd slept with somebody on them. The young man frowned and helped them close, taking a final smell before putting them in the wash.

The blunet found himself hoping it'd happen again sometime, longing for more time with Kaneki. "He's not gonna come back to me, I've gotta stop this," he mumbled, stretching before he headed over to his kitchen. He grabbed a piece of left over pizza from the night before and closed the fridge after choosing a Pepsi, heading over to his couch to try to find a distraction.

It was hard, trying not to think of the annoyingly charming white haired man, and nothing he did could  get rid of it. Ayato groaned, flopping backwards on the couch and staring at the ceiling as the TV played in the background. "Fuck," he huffed out, "why him?"

He shook his head and curled up, trying not to think at all. He turned the TV off and ended up lost in his thoughts, but still frowned at the fact that they were full of Kaneki. Ayato sat and thought of the good days they'd shared recently and most importantly, last night. His face turned bright red and irritation and embarrassment as realization dawned on him.

"I love Kaneki," he mumbled, testing the words and looking down at the floor like a sad puppy when he found no lie in them. "Fuck... But I really don't want to..."

Ayato closed his eyes, not even realizing he'd fallen asleep until his phone alarm rang the next morning.

***

Kaneki couldn't sleep when he'd gotten home and in bed after showering. Something was weighing on his mind, and he wasn't sure what it was. Not until he really thought, absentmindedly petting his dog, Hide, who'd been overjoyed at his return. 

He fed his dog, before crawling back into bed, trying to figure out what on Earth was keeping him awake. Kaneki stared at the ceiling fan, listening to its mechanical hum. He closed his eyes after a few minutes, trying to think.

He knew he missed something, but he didn't know what he missed. It must've been important. His mind wandered off to the previous night and he felt a small pang of guilt at the fact that he'd left suddenly and not even said he loved the other. Kaneki wasn't sure that he did love them, but he knew he liked the young man a lot, and had promised to take care of them.

Kaneki knew it was probably meant in the way that he'd take care of the other romantically and sexually, but he wanted more. He realized he missed the other, and that was what was keeping him awake. "Dammit," he grumbled, running a hand through his hair, "maybe I do love him. I can't have him, though... It'd be selfish to expect him to be only mine."

He picked up his phone, texting the young man's sister. "Do you know what kind of sappy nonsense Ayato likes?" He couldn't remember when he'd met her, but he'd always known his sister. Kaneki had also know that Ayato had been a runaway at a young age, thanks to Touka, and he'd already known their back story. But it was nice to have heard it from Ayato.

The soft buzz of a text jarred him from his thoughts, and he looked at the screen eagerly.

"Why" was the one word response on the screen.

Of course, leave it to Touka to be just as hotheaded and annoying as her brother.

"Because I need to know."

"I don't think you do without a reason."

"I'm absolutely sure you'll find out soon, Touka. Please, you've gotta help me out here."

"OMG do you like him?!"

Kaneki turned bright red and stared at the ceiling again in thought before another text vibrated his phone. This time, it was from Ayato.

It read, "Can't sleep, bed's cold without you. Gotta see you really soon."

He tilted his head at the slightly cryptic text, not quite sure of what to say when Touka sent another message. "I don't know what he'd like, really, but if you hurt him, I'm gonna be so mad at you."

"I know... I know," he sent back, sighing under his breath.

"You must really like him to even bother trying."

He sat in thought yet again, trying to decrypt Ayato's text before the phone vibrated again with another message from the young man. Kaneki opened it quickly, turning bright red when he saw what it said, the three words unmistakable against the bright background of the screen.

"I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> So disappointed in the fact I had to post this again because I accidentally deleted it...


End file.
